Give me some sunshine, give me some rain...

Give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance so I can grow up once again....

I dunno what I am thinking now, too much impact makes me numbness, I can't feel the pain and sour anymore...this is dangerous, because these feelings is important to give me the signal that I am hurted, and I need some improvement...

Failing my uni intake, then argue with my brainless mother, now I being told that I am a fucking egoist.....

It is chaos again in my mind, but I already been through the chaos before, now I feel nothing to it....it is again, a dangerous thing....

Maybe I really not intelligence or hardworking enough, thats why I keep failing...
Maybe I really gonna kill my mother, so that I can have a more silent condition...
Maybe, I am really too ego.....I dunnoe bout this....

From my experience, I am always an ordinary ppl, and a loser, because I never have strong faith in something...Now I have the faith, but it seems to be too strong....I have changed, totally changed, I know that....I was humble and low profile before, but no one notice me....I wanna change this...I don't wanna being ignored, I want to be acknowledge....and at this time, I started to have strong opinion of gaining and losing, and strong persistent....I am transforming into a person that I dunwan to be last time....

huh.....I just...want to be better...