Friday, December 31, 2010

Give me some sunshine, give me some rain...

Give me some sunshine, give me some rain, give me another chance so I can grow up once again....

I dunno what I am thinking now, too much impact makes me numbness, I can't feel the pain and sour anymore...this is dangerous, because these feelings is important to give me the signal that I am hurted, and I need some improvement...

Failing my uni intake, then argue with my brainless mother, now I being told that I am a fucking egoist.....

It is chaos again in my mind, but I already been through the chaos before, now I feel nothing to it....it is again, a dangerous thing....

Maybe I really not intelligence or hardworking enough, thats why I keep failing...
Maybe I really gonna kill my mother, so that I can have a more silent condition...
Maybe, I am really too ego.....I dunnoe bout this....

From my experience, I am always an ordinary ppl, and a loser, because I never have strong faith in something...Now I have the faith, but it seems to be too strong....I have changed, totally changed, I know that....I was humble and low profile before, but no one notice me....I wanna change this...I don't wanna being ignored, I want to be acknowledge....and at this time, I started to have strong opinion of gaining and losing, and strong persistent....I am transforming into a person that I dunwan to be last time....

huh.....I just...want to be better...

Sunday, December 26, 2010

孤单的人

一个孤单的人,是最怕寂寞的。
所以,他会竭尽所能地、尽量地接近人群、接近热闹,或者把自己强硬的塞进一个团体,藉以消除自身的孤独感。
这种方法有好有坏,如果接触到的是对的人,如好兄弟/姐妹、好朋友、亲人、爱人等,就会产生好的效果;如果接触到不对的人,一些其实与自己没什么交集的人,那就会得到反效果,更增那可悲的孤独感。

人孤单的时候,脑子会因为不必想社交的事,而加倍的运转,从而让自己思考得更多。
这不但可以让自己更了解自己,也可以想到一些平时想不到的事情。
但是,不好的事情也更容易被想起来。
所以,孤单的人,很寂寞,很悲伤。